Friday, February 2, 2007

Tentative First Steps

With trepidation I enter. Wow, quite a tone to that, isn't there? Thus begins my first blog entry. A bit of excitement, a bit of apprehension, the aforementioned trepidation, and of course, the hope we experience at all new beginnings, I jump into the deep end of the pool with only water wings and a prayer to keep me afloat. I have watched friends and family members make in-roads to the blogosphere, and I have finally summoned the courage/moxie/total disregard for others' opinions to start my own. A favorite junior high teacher once told me we should write something every day. This is my beginning.

I'm not sure what finally pushed me to make the decision. Perhaps the start of a new year, the birth of a baby (not mine, but of my inner circle), a birthday, my current desire to leave a mark - whether short or long term makes no difference -, the bubbling up of thoughts/emotions/opinions that have no other logical outlet. Who knows. A family member's blog noted "create" as the word she'd chosen to describe her 2007: it would serve me better as a description of my life. I've other outlets for other parts of my psyche: kitchen, piano, sewing machine, scrapbook, walls, but no other place to write. Here I hope to assuage the need, and find some peace.

But first, a frame of sorts, to hold the canvas. I am, as I have found and others have told me, truly Aquarian in nature. I tend to flow, as the water sign, but can have the rushing torrents or gentle wearing that characterize my element. I am a starter, but not always a finisher (hence my trepidation at this blog); intense and focused in times of need or crisis, but typically a procrastinator; deeply loyal, yet constantly looking to see what's new; a fierce lover and protector, but conversely (and sometimes to my detriment) as fierce a hater; a champion of what's just and fair, but still human and fallible enough to find those stringent stances compromised. My frame is, like the canvas I create, a work in progress, shifting, ebbing, flowing, mutable, worn and fashioned by forces internal as well as those of the world.

I'm primarily small-town, but with just enough urban touches to make me stick out from the crowd in my rural corner of the world. My work helps with this: I'm in sales (which is itself a slick/fast/high octane career) in the telecommunication field, so I deal with the newest in technology, and usually my company finds itself breaking new ground within the communities we serve. Sometimes the disjointed, weirdly funny juxtapositions of my job serve as the best analogy for my life: have you ever tried to sell wireless networking, voice-over-internet-protocol (VoIP) phone service, and an enhanced centrally-controlled key service unit (KSUs) to a business that sells trailer houses? Such is my life here among the cows, corn and countryside of Barron County, Wisconsin.

I'm married, no children - unless you count Beatrice, the four-legged child whom I'm sure will become a fixture of this daily missive. Both the husband and the dog are my anchors and my entertainment, each bearing their label depending on the day and the circumstances. Due to conflicting work schedules - he, a farmer, works incessantly, while I work days - there are days we hardly see each other. This would be an issue, were it not for the four years we spent in a long distance relationship while I was attending college. As with many things in this world, we know it could be worse.

So, brief outlines aside, I begin. No promises, no hard-and-fast rules of engagement, just a medium waiting for my creation. May it be worthwhile, fruitful, and satisfying.

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